Why is it that the second a mother admits that it’s hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she’s not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn’t add more to her load. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. That one always stings, and I don’t think it’s quite fair. I have received this particular message four or five times – G, if you can’t handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth? Or a job done, at least.Įvery time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I’m being negative. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. but I love having written.” What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, “Are you sure? Are you sure you don’t mean you love having parented?” There was a famous writer who, when asked if she loved writing, replied, “No. That’s not exactly what I wanted to say, though. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, “ Thank you. I couldn’t find Chase anywhere, and Tish was sucking the pen from the credit card machine WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. A losing contestant. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. These days go by so fast.”Īt that particular moment, Amma had swiped a bra from the cart and arranged it over her sweater, while sucking a lollipop undoubtedly found on the ground. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: “ Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I’m not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. That they literally cried most of the way up.Īnd so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers – “ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU’LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN’T!” TRUST US!! IT’LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!” – those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. They try because even though it hurts and it’s hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard.

They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they’ve heard there’s magic in the climb. I think parenting young children (and old ones, I’ve heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I’m not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I’m doing something wrong. Especially during this phase of my life – while I’m raising young kids. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. But as 2011 closes, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn’t work for me. I know that this message is right and good. This time goes by so fast.”Įverywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.

Every time I’m out with my kids – this seems to happen:Īn older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, “ Oh– Enjoy every moment.

Carpe diem store